hirsute

This morning I was zoning out, listing to music on my headphones while enjoying a shvitz at the gym. An Ethiopian man came into the room and starting making frantic motions in my direction, making circles around his shoulders with his hands. I took off my headphones, and caught that he was asking me if my shoulder hair ever stops growing out, like two balloons that can be blown up forever......

For those of you who have never seen me with my shirt off (I am sort of like a super hero, with my hirsute costume neatly tucked under my button-down shirt), I am old-school man-hairy. I have the full, long sweater - back, shoulder's, ass, chest. My shoulders are puffy, as if I transplanted the afro's from two teenage kids in my neighborhood on either side of my body. But there is of course a limit to my body hair growth. It is not like the hair on your head where it could grow on forever, creating a long shaggy coat. Duh.

I informed the man of the reality of my body hair, and he proceeded with the (of course) logical follow-up question, "Is it true that woman like very hair men because the hair feels sensual on their skin?" Uhh...what? Has this urban myth been going around? How have I never heard of this before? Who asks this to a half naked man-beast taking a shvitz? My answer was, of course, "Yes, I am a more advanced sensual being." This was a lie (just ask Cathy), but when a hairy man is pressed, he must defend his honor. I think usually my hair just makes me overheat and causes me to have to clean the drain in the bathtub more often.

I have been openly vocal about my positive feelings regarding my body hair. There have been some summers where I get Cathy to trim me down (sorry dear) due to the increased insulation, but in general, I regard my bear-like self-image as a positive. Recently, as Cathy and I rounded the four year mark on our relationship, I started to worry that if we produced any male offspring, it would probably be a smooth-chested creature. This is no good. This child would view me as a freak, would not be out in the world increasing the numbers of hairy men, and would generally be a weaker being, incapable of surviving the revolution and coming ice age that will grip the world during his lifetime. This is very bad. The only solution will be for Cathy and I to adopt a child from Eastern Europe or maybe a cute young Indian boy.

sorry state

(I am totally beat by the time this photo was taken on Sunday afternoon)

2009 festival season is FINALLY over. I am exhausted but ready to move on. I am also a little weirded out by that last post. What was I thinking? Gross.